It’s Sunday again after a week that felt both long and fleeting. Yesterday’s Perinatal Trauma Workshop, held in honour of International Women’s Day, left me thinking about how we women navigate our complex lives.
Society expects us to raise families, care for aging parents, and excel in our careers – often simultaneously and without missing a beat. When we struggle to meet these expectations (as any human naturally would), we frequently hide our difficulties, pushing through alone until our bodies eventually wave the white flag.
When Life Changes, So Must Our Expectations
I’ve experienced this firsthand with my running journey. Over the past two years, running became my sanctuary – a place to clear my mind and strengthen my body. But this year, new responsibilities quickly encroached on my running schedule. I went from running three times a week to just once.
Initially, I punished myself for not maintaining my previous speed and fitness. (You lose condition very quickly!) But something shifted when I finally took the pressure off and simply allowed myself to enjoy the scenery and surroundings. Running became good again – not because I was hitting my old targets, but because I was listening to what my body and life could accommodate now.
Your Body’s Traffic Light System
This experience taught me to pay more attention to what my body was telling me. Polyvagal Theory offers us a simple “traffic light” framework to understand our nervous system’s signals:
Green Zone: You feel connected, calm, and present. Your breathing is deep, your thoughts are clear, and you can engage with others easily. This is your body in its natural state of well-being.
Amber Zone: You notice tension, faster breathing, and perhaps irritability or anxiety. Your thoughts might race, and small things feel overwhelming. This is your body’s early warning system – not an emergency yet, but a call for attention.
Red Zone: You feel disconnected, exhausted, foggy, or numb. Tasks seem impossible, and you might want to hide away. This is your body protecting you when things feel too much.
Simple Ways to Respond with Kindness
When you notice your amber or red signals:
- Take three deep breaths, extending your exhale longer than your inhale
- Place a hand on your heart and offer yourself the same compassion you’d give a friend
- Step outside for five minutes and feel the air on your skin
- Reach out to someone who makes you feel safe
- Give yourself permission for a true rest – not just scrolling or watching TV
A Different Kind of Strength
As we commemorate International Women’s Day, we honour the generations of women who fought for the rights and freedoms we now enjoy, while acknowledging the work still to be done. Throughout history, women have been conditioned to put others first – a narrative that persists today and often leads us to neglect our own well-being.
Practicing self-compassion might initially feel uncomfortable or even selfish. But this isn’t selfishness – it’s self-love. And changing this narrative is essential not just for our own health, but for advancing women’s collective journey.
Perhaps today, we can celebrate a different kind of strength. Not the power to endure everything without complaint, but the wisdom to listen to our bodies and respond with kindness.
When we honour our body’s signals instead of overriding them, we not only prevent burnout but model healthier ways of being for those around us – our children, friends, colleagues, and clients.
What signal is your body sending you today? And how might you respond with compassion? I’d love to hear one small step you’re taking to honour your body’s wisdom this week.