Though I primarily work with adults in my EMDR practice, I increasingly see the effects of our smartphone-dominated culture. Many adult clients not only struggle with digital dependency but also worry about their children’s relationship with technology. Here, I share my observations and recommendations based on clinical experience and emerging research.
The Digital Crisis Affecting Young People
Since 2010, adolescent mental health has sharply declined. Depression and anxiety rates have risen by over 50% across developed nations, including Ireland and the UK (Haidt, 2023), coinciding with the mass adoption of smartphones. In Ireland, smartphone ownership now stands at 96%, with 67% of adults wishing they spent less time on their devices—a figure that jumps to 82% among 18-34-year-olds (Deloitte Ireland, 2024). These numbers reflect a growing awareness of the negative impacts of digital overuse.
A Fundamental Rewiring of Brain Development
What concerns me most isn’t just screen time, but what it’s replacing. Between 2010-2015, childhood fundamentally changed as screen-based interactions replaced face-to-face socialisation, physical activity, and unstructured play. Neuroscience tells us that childhood is a critical period for brain development—shaped by real-world experiences like play, risk-taking, and independent exploration. When these are removed, young people are left more anxious, risk-averse, and socially unprepared for adulthood.
A longitudinal study of youth in the UK found distinct developmental windows during which adolescents are particularly sensitive to social media’s impact. Between ages 11-13 for girls and 14-15 for boys, increased social media use predicts a decrease in life satisfaction a year later, while lower use predicts greater life satisfaction (Orben, A., et al., 2022). This highlights the importance of monitoring and restricting social media during early adolescence.
In my practice, I see the adult consequences: impaired emotional regulation, social anxiety, and difficulty managing real-world challenges. A 2022 Barnardos Ireland report found that 27% of parents struggle to control their children’s screen time, with 36% reporting frequent family conflicts over device use (Barnardos Ireland, 2022). These tensions often persist into adulthood, shaping long-term relational dynamics.
Why Virtual Connection Fails Us
One client recalled her teenage years: “I had hundreds of followers but no actual friends I could call in a crisis.” This highlights the fundamental flaw of online interaction—it lacks the embodied, synchronous quality of real-world relationships. Social media fosters performance over authenticity and prioritises engagement over well-being, deeply affecting adolescent brain development.
EMDR, DeTUR, and Digital Dependence
In addressing technology-related issues, EMDR therapy has proven highly effective. Originally developed for trauma, EMDR helps process maladaptive patterns formed through digital overuse. A specialised adaptation, the DeTUR Protocol (Desensitisation of Triggers and Urge Reprocessing), (Popky, A. J. 2009), has shown promise in reducing compulsive behaviours, including excessive smartphone use.
DeTUR works by:
- Identifying specific triggers that drive compulsive phone-checking.
- Reprocessing urges, weakening their emotional intensity.
- Replacing negative responses with positive, adaptive beliefs.
- Strengthening internal resources to foster resilience and self-regulation.
By incorporating DeTUR within EMDR frameworks, we can help clients — both adults and adolescents — establish healthier relationships with technology.
Breaking Free: Creating Change
As recommended by Haidt, J. (2023), and based on research and clinical experience, the following steps are advised for families:
- Delay smartphones until secondary school – Children under 14 aren’t developmentally ready for unrestricted internet access.
- No social media in early teens – Research shows that early adolescence is a particularly vulnerable period for negative social media effects.
- Support genuinely phone-free schools – Not just “in your pocket” policies, but full removal during school hours.
- Prioritise real-world experiences – Unstructured play, independence, and face-to-face interaction are essential.
These changes are most effective when implemented collectively, reducing the “but everyone else has one” pressure.
Professional Reflections
As an EMDR practitioner, I witness firsthand the long-term impact of a phone-based childhood. Many young adults present with anxiety, depression, and relational difficulties stemming from a digital adolescence.
Yet, this trend is not irreversible. By setting thoughtful technology boundaries, fostering in-person connections, and utilising therapeutic interventions like EMDR and DeTUR, we can help young people reclaim their mental well-being.
For parents: small changes matter. A single phone-free dinner can become a nightly ritual. A group of parents can influence school policy. When necessary, EMDR can address deeper, entrenched patterns. The time to act is now—because the adults in my practice remind me daily of what happens when we don’t.
References
- Barnardos Ireland. (2022). Digital Childhoods: A Survey of Technology Use Among Irish Families. Dublin: Barnardos.
- Deloitte Ireland. (2024). Consumer Trends Report 2024. Dublin: Deloitte Ireland.
- Haidt, J. (2023). The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness. New York: Penguin Press.
- Orben, A., et al. (2022). Nature Communications, Vol. 13, No. 1649.
- Popky, A. J. (2009). The desensitization of triggers and urge reprocessing (DeTUR) protocol. In M. Luber (Ed.), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Scripted Protocols: Special Populations (pp. 489–511). New York, NY: Springer Publishing Co.